I have these faux Juicy Couture black velour pants that Aaron gave to me a while back. His roommate Pauly (how perfect is that name for a faux seller?) sells a lot of faux stuff and as far as the real stuff goes he says, “Let’s just say, it fell off the back of a truck.” Riiight. Anyway, these particular pants are just wonderful. Comfy as can be. The only problem is they can gather in such a way you feel like you are wearing a diaper. Price you pay for faux Juicy I suppose. Not really a big deal. No hole in the crotch or anything. So, the other day I was wearing these pants and knowing their bunching ability, I just wasn’t all that baffled when it felt like I had a Huggies on. I went to readjust only to find a big wad of toilet paper stuck in my pants. Now, how this happened…I am just not sure. But I have to confess, it isn’t the first time.
We've all had toilet paper stuck to our foot at one point or another and blushed when we realized we had been walking around like a little bit of an idiot. So, when I was at a party after senior year of high school and this nice, young lady approached me and said, “Excuse me but, umm, you have toilet paper hanging out of your jeans” I automatically looked at my feet. And then her words sank in..."out your jeans." Shit. It’s like I was in elementary school all over again, and I tattle taled on a fellow classmate. Did your masochistic teachers tape tp to your butt if you tattle “tailed” on someone? I can’t believe my teachers got away with that! Well, I must be my own worst enemy with all the toilet paper I am sticking to my own ass.
The moral of this short “tail” is this:
1. don’t tattle
2. check your behind before leaving the loo
Apparently, it is not common for teachers to tape toilet paper to your wee elementary school butt when you tattle tale on a peer.